"I thought of destroying my life and other people's lives too."

“I was raised by my grandmother, who had a neighbor who would abuse me whenever she went out. As I grew up, that inner pain only got worse.

At the age of 16, I left home and moved in with a man, 15 years older than me, and I came back home with a child. It was one bad decision after another, all driven by a desperate need for affection.

I felt completely worthless, like I didn't matter. It was a pain that screamed inside, but stayed silent on the outside. I also had thoughts of ending my life. There was this constant feeling of emptiness and the idea of just disappearing, but I didn't have the courage to go through with it.”

— Fabiana

 “A friend had invited my mum to visit the prison, where she met my dad and she became pregnant with me. After that, she moved in with my paternal grandmother, and I was sexually abused by a relative there as well.

As time went on, the hatred, bitterness, resentment and anger grew inside me. After dealing with all these problems, my mum started going to a spiritualist center, one of those places that deals with spirits, and I began living with spirits. I was hearing things, voices, and seeing and talking to the shadows.

I got into a relationship and got pregnant. There was a time that I wanted to kill him because of so much rage. Until I got involved with his father, which turned into a huge scandal.

And I was trying to find peace and happiness, so I started looking into evangelical churches and began attending. When I felt a desire to get baptized in water, they did not allow me because I was a sinner, because at that time I was still with my daughter’s grandfather.

They said horrible things to me and that just fueled the hatred and anger, not just towards men anymore or towards people in general, but now towards God as well. And they kicked me out of the church.

I thought of destroying my life and other people's lives too. I started seeing a lot of men, too many men.

I had no boundaries left at all, not as a person, nor as a woman. I had completely lost who I was. I felt like I was nothing, as if I was like rubbish.

And that's when the thought of taking my own life began to take hold of me. And at a footbridge, there was a voice inside of me constantly telling me to jump from there.

I was about to jump, when people from the Universal church arrived and someone gave me a newspaper, where it was written: “When the spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.” When I read that, I got really angry, because I heard a voice deep inside me saying, I am the one living a lie.

Two days later, I stopped right in the middle of that same footbridge and that same woman was up on the bridge evangelizing. This time, she managed to get my contact details, and later sent me a message. That woman who sent the message is Fabiana.

After that, I started going to church several times a day. I started reading the Bible, until I decided to get baptized in water. I wanted salvation and the Kingdom of God to live inside of me. I participated in a Campaign of Israel and in the Fast of Daniel to receive the Holy Spirit. Until I received it.

After that day, it wasn't just my life that changed but my entire inner being changed.” — Andrea